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At a Time Like This ....


At a time like this, your children could use some extra love and a story-time cuddle. --



The coronavirus pandemic has upended all of our lives, and much has changed in a very short time.  With workplaces, schools, and childcare centers closed, work-life balance has taken on new meaning.  And if a pandemic were not enough, the video of a Minneapolis police officer’s knee on George Floyd’s neck has mobilized thousands across this country and around the world to say enough-is-enough to racism and police brutality.  Stress levels are running high and parents are finding themselves exhausted, overwhelmed, and anxious.  



Our children rely on us to keep them safe and their world predictable.  We may try to shield them from our own anxieties, but even the very young are perceptive to our moods.  And of course, their world looks very different, too.  They are missing friends and the special adults in their lives, like grandparents and outside caregivers.  The loss of familiar routines is particularly challenging.  Now more than ever, parents need to counter these feelings with extra love and support.  It is never too early to start the conversations around difficult emotions that will continue throughout the years.

Story time is bonding time



From infancy on, it’s important to establish a safe haven for your child to return to again and again.  This is a special time and place to feel secure in your love and comforted in your presence.  Cuddling with a book creates the perfect foundation for this type of intimacy and communication.  Your eventual teenager will come to you with the “big stuff” if they’ve been talking with you and feeling heard all along.



Whatever the age and stage of your child, chances are there’s a book out there to help make sense of what they may be experiencing or feeling.  Identifying with characters in similar situations lets them know that it’s okay to feel what they feel and gives them age-appropriate ways to cope.  Talking about your own experiences and asking questions sets up the type of honest and open dialogue that will become ever more important as messages from the outside world get louder.  Read on for more tips and well-suited books from Dolly Parton’s Imagination Library and BEGIN WITH BOOKS to get the conversation started.



·         Help children acknowledge and label their emotions



During the early years, children are building up what psychologists call emotional intelligence, and are learning to express a wider and more varied range of emotions.  It is important that you help them recognize their emotional states and develop the language to talk about them.  A perennial Imagination Library favorite, Dolly Parton’s I Am a Rainbow is a sweet little book for toddlers to begin talking about their feelings.  In it, Dolly teaches them to connect their moods with colors of the rainbow so they can better express the emotions they are feeling: for example, blue when feeling sad, red when feeling mad, yellow when feeling scared.  Her message is that we all have moods and that’s okay, but it’s what we do with our moods that matters.


·         Listen to your children before offering solutions



Just as you are feeling the unease of a world that no longer looks the same, so too are your little ones.  Seeing strangers in masks and not being able to see friends or approach loved ones are unsettling situations for your children.  How do they begin to process this confusion?  The Rabbit Listened by Cori Doerrfeld, an April 2020 Imagination Library book selection, encourages preschoolers to explore strategies to manage turbulent feelings when things go wrong.  Different creatures offer Taylor well-meaning advice when the castle he has built, and is so proud of, comes crashing down.  Rabbit takes a more passive approach by just listening, staying by his side, and giving him time to come to terms with how he is feeling.  The gentle illustrations and repetitive text evoke a sense of calm, and -- let’s face it -- rabbits are just naturally quiet and peaceful animals.  


·         Reassure them that we all feel scared at times - and that’s okay!


Uncertainty feels scary.  We are updated daily on the increasing number of deaths from Covid-19, and now the news is also filled with images of the tensions between law enforcement and protestors.   We could all use a little pause for reflection.  Tomorrow I’ll be Brave, by Jessica Hische, is an uplifting and empowering book for toddlers and preschoolers to help them end the day on a positive note, feeling excited for the possibilities that tomorrow might bring.  An end-of-day reflection is a nice habit to establish between the two of you.  While this lovely book encourages children to be the best they can be, it also introduces them to the concept of self-forgiveness.  If at the end of the day we haven’t felt strong, confident, or brave, there’s always tomorrow.

·         Find pleasure in simple things



Thank You, World, by Alice B. McGinty and Wendy Anderson Halperin (illustrator), is an inspiring book for older preschoolers, reminding them that even though they may be missing out on things they enjoy, like circle time or being with their friends on the playground, there’s still lots of joy to be found.  The book follows eight children from eight different continents as they go about their day and experience the same moments of happiness.  The rhymed narrative celebrates simple things such as trees, clouds, or mothers – “Thank you, Mommy, for tucking in my tiptoes and kissing me good night.”  At a time like this, it’s comforting to know that we’re all in this together, that the world isn’t as large as it seems, and that life’s greatest pleasures are often the simple ones.



·         Instill a sense of shared community and civic responsibility



Just by staying home, you and your children are slowing the spread of the virus and keeping your community and loved ones safe.   This simple act demonstrates good citizenship.  It is an empowering message and an example of how simple actions can add up to great impact.  That is the message behind Annette LeBox’s Peace is an Offering (illustrated by Stephanie Graegin and distributed by Dolly Parton's Imagination Lirary in a bilingual English/Spanish edition).  This favorite portrays children being peacemakers in their everyday lives through simple, ordinary acts of giving, sharing, and understanding.  It is these seemingly small, everyday actions that result in stronger, more peaceful communities.


-- Caron Bell, PhD, Early Childhood Development, and beginwithbooks.org volunteer



 












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